Don't Be 'That Parent'

Dun dunn dunnnnn………….the time of year that parents and students anticipate and dread in equal measure is fast approaching – REPORT CARDS!

Hopefully when you see your child’s report card, you are pleasantly surprised.  You are pleased that their teacher sees the same strengths you see at home and has identified some things that need to be worked on that don’t surprise you.  But what happens when this isn’t the case?

Many parents have “sticker shock” when looking at the first report of the year and are completely surprised by the grades and comments teachers have included.

How do you avoid having this happen to you?

If you are a parent who doesn’t work full-time and is able to be in your child’s school on a regular basis, you may not need advice for how to stay in touch with teachers.  But, if like a majority of parents in the UAE, you work at least full or part-time, you may not get to have that regular face-to-face contact.  So, how do you go about successfully getting all of the information and assistance you need from the teachers that see your child on a daily basis?

1) Do your very best to get in to meet the teacher at least once in person.  During this meeting, introduce yourself and let the teacher know that you will not be able to come into the school often because of work or other commitments.  Make it clear that you would appreciate receiving regular updates.

2) Decide how you are going to keep in contact with your child’s teacher.  Most teachers I’ve worked with (myself included) prefer to use email.  Email is good for several reasons; you can have ongoing threads that you can refer back to where everything is written, recorded, and saved.

And, it’s great for the teacher and parent to save in their records in case any mixed messages or confusion come up in the future.  An added tip – always identify yourself in any contact you make; use your name, the name of the student you would like to discuss, and your relation to that student.

3) Be clear on how often the teacher will update you about the progress your child is making.  Are they willing to send you a brief note or email at the end of each week?  Every two weeks?  Make sure that you both agree on an appropriate amount of time.  You should also ask what kind of response time the teacher has for emails. Most teachers will try to get back to you within 24 hours, unless you sent them an email over the weekend or during a holiday.

4) Give the teacher the benefit of the doubt and understand no child (including yours) is perfect.  It is extremely likely that at some point during the year, your child’s teacher will send home work that you have questions about or will possibly disagree with. They will more than likely make an error grading a test, as well as other organisational mistakes that might upset you as the parent.  If possible, get in touch with the teacher first regarding any issue you might have. Teachers much prefer you to come to them for clarification before you make an inquiry to the principal. This builds trust between yourself and your child’s teacher while encouraging a good working relationship.

Of course, if there is extreme negligence or error on the teacher’s part, and you feel as though the only option is to speak with the administration, then of course you should do so.

5) Be proactive.  Your schedule may not allow you to be in the school very often, but do your best to stay on top of forms, permission slips, and school events, etc.  Teachers try to use their time as efficiently as possible, so try not to be that parent who requires three emails and a call home to return that field trip form.

Even if you are incredibly busy, you want to foster a good relationship with your child’s teacher, and simple actions such as getting a form in on time can go a long way in doing so.

In Conclusion

Overall, the goal is to treat your child’s teacher with respect and to be clear about your expectations as a parent.

Remember that most teachers would walk through fire for their students, but parents are often seen as a necessary evil.  Your child is absolutely their priority, you- not so much.  Please don’t see this as a negative, rather that your child is their priority, which is as it should be.

It's also wise to remember that for you, your child is everything.  During the school day, teachers need to make 20+ students their ‘everything’ which can be a daunting task, so please do your best to support them and to be realistic in your expectations of what they can accomplish.

Laura Cianfrini is a certified teacher, trained at Medaille College in New York State, with 9 years teaching experience in Dubai.